Vanessa Van Edwards describes herself as “a recovering awkward person.” It is hard to imagine this vibrant, engaging woman as socially inept. On the contrary, she had us at “hello.”
The inside flap of Ms. Edwards’ latest book, Captivate; the Science of Succeeding with People, describes her as a “human behavior hacker.” Her behavior research lab in Portland has been featured in Fast Company, Inc., Men’s Health, Forbes, and on Fox News. She once did a study of “catching” behavior at Pioneer Square in Downtown Portland where she stood looking up at the sky while research assistants filmed and counted the number of people who copied her. After looking skyward for several minutes one woman leaned over and whispered, “Do you think he’s going to jump?” There wasn’t a jumper.
Vanessa says that the first thing we notice about a person, contrary to what many of us think, is not their eyes. It’s their hands. The hands are an important indication of trust. Hands are, after all, our deadliest weapon. When we approach someone with her hands behind her back we might wonder if she is holding a weapon. We are trying to determine intention. When we can’t see the person’s eyes we become distrustful and fearful. In fact, if a person’s hand gestures don’t match his words our brains have trouble trusting what the person is saying. Research has also shown that it’s easier to remember what you hear when the words are accompanied by hand gestures.
Ms. Edwards and her team analyzed TED talks to find out why some have gone viral while others died on the vine. She found that the average number of hand gestures used in the successful TED talks was 465, in contrast to the unsuccessful TED talks in which speakers used fewer than 200 hand gestures. They also analyzed Donald Trump’s campaign speeches and found that he used an average of 641 hand gestures in 17 minutes. He was also able to steal the limelight by moving his hands during Hilary Clinton’s speeches. Secretary Clinton, by contrast, tended to speak with her hands quietly at her side.
We’ve all heard that yawns are contagious. So are smiles. We can hear “happiness.” Vanessa’s overarching message is that “we are in control of how we feel and what we want to spread.”