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By Ed Murphy
Our guest speaker at our regular lunch meeting onFebruary 5th was our own club member, Birol Yesilada, who spoke about conflict resolution. Birol is Professor of Political Science and International Studies at PSU, holds an endowed chair in Contemporary Turkish Studies, and is Director of the Center for Turkish Studies in the Mark O. Hatfield School of Government. Birol earned his M.A. in Political Science in 1979 from San Francisco State University, and his Ph.D. in Political Science in 1984 from the University of Michigan.
Birol used a PowerPoint Presentation to guide his remarks. He started by defining “conflict”, which can occur between people, groups of people, organizations, and countries. He said that conflict is “a situation where someone believes that his/her needs have been denied; a situation where two or more people disagree over something and form opposite sides; or when one person feels upset or frustrated because of a perception that the other person has interfered with the first person’s goals”. He noted that even though conflict is natural and unavoidable, and can be destructive, we can learn to manage it – and thereby (in many cases) achieve positive outcomes.
To resolve a conflict, Birol stressed that it is often necessary to have a neutral 3rd party involved, one who will not give even the perception of taking sides. He also noted that we need to realize that what we see in conflict is only the tip of the iceberg, and that what lies beneath the surface, unknown sometimes even to the people involved, can impede any hope of resolution. He pointed out that our perceptions are significantly influenced by our belief system and our own culture, and that words, expressions and body language can mean different things in to people in different cultures. A neutral 3rd party can be invaluable in helping people see and understand that which is not obvious to the participants.
In Rotary Clubs, as in other organizations, signs of conflict can include tensions, no desire to communicate, work not being done properly, disastrous meetings, anger occurring quickly and easily, and low morale. Members may attempt to just avoid the conflict, rather than trying to prevent it or address it. Birol talked about “principled” responses to conflict, in which participants focus on the problem, not the person, listen, try to understand, respect others, and commit to resolving the issue. He said that managing conflict constructively depends in large measure on clear, open and honest communication.
Birol then described some techniques to use in communicating, stressing the importance of non-verbal clues such as facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice. He said people with good communication skills have a penchant for the facts, show empathy, listen actively (or reflectively), and avoid communication “blockers” (such as checking your email while you are also “listening” to someone). He shared some ideas for managing the conflict resolution process itself, including finding a “neutral” place to talk.
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