[vc_row full_width=”” parallax=”” parallax_image=””][vc_column width=”1/1″][vc_column_text]Conflict is natural, but the issue-at-hand is only the tip of the iceberg. Submerged in the icy waters are emotions, interests, self-esteem, expectations, and unresolved past issues. Wars have started because of misunderstanding and misinformation.
Each of us has a belief system that is part of who we are. This system is the accumulation of experience, education, social and family life, and religion. We wake up with this system every day and can be unaware of the affect it has on us and the way we deal with others. The system guides the way we process information that comes into our “brain box” and the way we interact with others.
We were presented with an exercise to illustrate how our individual belief systems affect the way we see and interpret the world around us. We were given a copy of a photo and, working in pairs, we were asked how we would describe what we saw to a blind person. Objectively, the photo was of a group of people dressed in winter clothing, riding on a train or bus. Three women were looking out the window, a man was reading the newspaper, and someone dressed as Spiderman was sitting in the very back, watching others. Subjectively, however, some members of the club said that it looked like the women were angry or distressed while the man reading the newspaper and the person dressed as Spiderman seemed to be relaxed and uninterested in what might have been going on outside the window.
The point of this exercise was to illustrate how we make judgements about what we see, and how these judgements are part of our personal belief systems. Being aware of one’s personal brain box helps foster discernment and the withholding of judgement. Cheron suggested four steps to better communication:
- Recognize that an alternate explanation is possible,
- Consider all explanations; more than one might be right,
- Fact-check yourself: what can be said objectively vs what is a value judgement? Notice your own biases so you can use objective language.
- Let go of being “right.”
There are ways of dealing with conflict that are productive and effective. These include mediation and arbitration. Above all, we should keep talking to each other.[/vc_column_text][/vc_column][/vc_row]